If you’re looking for the miracle success story, this isn’t it.
If you’re looking for the key to recovery from autism, this isn’t where you should be looking.
If you’re looking for someone like you, it might be the place.
I read a lot of blogs, especially autism blogs. I used to read more of them. I was looking for the next thing to try. I was looking for hope for our future. I was looking for someone to tell me that we could make it. But at this point, we’re not the miracle success story, and definitely not the success story that parents want to see.
What made me start writing this particular post is that I keep reading a type of sentence on different autism blogs. It’s the “we’re succeeding because we did all the right things that gave our child the keys for success” sentence. It always stops me in my tracks for a second.
I’m not saying that they are wrong. It’s absolutely right to keep on pushing, to do the things, to get the therapy, pursue the things that help, to absolutely advocate for your child. It’s just that… no, that’s not the reason, at least not entirely. You can do the right things, all the right things, the perfectly right things, and still end up where we are.
I know because we did. We pursued all the right things. And it didn’t work out the way we hoped.
You can look at our story as intently as you want. I’m sure we weren’t perfect. Nobody is. But we were as good as any other parents who work hard for our kids.
I’m not saying that all the right things hasn’t helped our son. It has. He has come a long way. And it will keep helping him. We will never stop trying to help him.
But at this point, our journey isn’t going to end at the high functioning end of life. It’s in the “we did everything right and we’re going to have to take care of our child forever” side of the story. It’s not an easy thing to accept. In fact, at this point, it’s impossible for me to accept it. But I am also realistic and know that unless God does a miracle, this is our story.
Not many blogs I’ve seen will say that.
But it’s the truth. And sadly, not everyone will get to be the miracle success story. I wish we were. How I wish.
I hope you are that story. I hope that you find the key that opens all the doors in your child’s life. I hope that I get to find it too, someday… just a bit of me keeps hoping. Always hoping.